I love the internet because it is totally boundless. sometimes I'm just assaulted by a couple random assholes for a while, but sometimes I find something totally unique and beautiful. case in point: http://www.zuzafun.com/pimp-my-bug#more-266
it might llok a little strange, but I want one of those clockwork insect. They just have a delicacy and grace and I thank whoever actually invented the internet for showimng me something that cool.

I play violin. I'm not a prodigy, but I've been practicing a long time and I'm not bad. it always tears me though. on one hand I hate the time commitment. I bitch every single time I have to do anything for music. but sometimes, when I play, I just know that this is how the world was meant to sound. is it worth it?

I don't know what I want. Is that bad? I don't even know that I want to go to college, but I know that I will. why do I know that? I've never been to college, I don't know what it's like. and I really don't know what I want.

the mind

I don't know how frequently this will be updated. I just don't have that many thought's I'd like others to see. apparentyl I don't have that many thoughts at all. we did a meditation exercise today, in which we sat quietly and 'tried to listen to inner voices'. when we finished, all the others complained of an inner dialogue they could not silence. I just fell asleep. They might all be faking, but either way it leaves me without a lot of material for this blog. also, much of the material that DOES come up is personal. for reasons I'm not going into. ever. Enjoy.